The Phony
Hello, I’m Pablo, your journalist of the phony, a section of the news cool chronicle with TOTALLY real news. Each issue has 3 stories. We hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading.
MAIN STORY: 267 Students have joined Tung tung tung sahurism!!!
Image created by Pablo and Saul
Tung Tung Tung Sahur is a very popular AI character who has been featured in many types of media such as video games, videos, and memes. Recently, many elementary students have converted to Tung Tung Tung Sahurism, a religion about the AI meme character here is some information from an interview we had with a follower.
Q: So what is Tung Tung Tung Sahurism?
A: It is a religion where we worship our god “Emperor Tung Tung Tung Sahur”.
Q: Is there any other religion?
A: Yes! We are at war with the Tralaleros and Brr Brr Patapims.
Q: How many followers are there?
A: There are over 267 followers
In conclusion, many students have joined Tung Tung Tung Sahurism. Will you join too?
Second story: Ms. Flores buys a freeze ray!??!
Image created by Pablo and Saul
In other news, it’s been reported that Ms. Flores, the 7th-grade social studies teacher, has recently bought a freeze ray from the black market and is freezing students who are not “chill vibes.” Our reporter interviewed a victim, and they said, “brrrrrrrrrr, IT's SO COLD!” It has also been reported that she has gathered a bounty of $100,000,000 for cold-hearted action. We’ll keep you updated on her story.
Third story: Upside-down desks are being installed?
Image created by Pablo and Saul
We have been informed that the head of The New School San Francisco will be implementing upside down desks on May 67, 2026, here is an interview one of our reporters had with an unnamed spokesperson for more information.
Q: Why are upside down desks being installed?
A: According to a child scientist we contacted, having upside down desks increases blood flow to the brain thus increasing brain function.
Q: How will students get up to their new desks?
A: According to the school board, ladders will be installed to reach the desk.
Q: How will students stay on their desk?
A: Students will be provided with magnetic shoes and the ceiling will have metal plates installed on them.
So now you are informed of the current desk situation, will you go along with this or will you revolt? We will have to see on May 67, 2026.
Thank you for reading this first issue of The Phony, we hope you enjoyed it and the many more to come.