10 Funny Celebrity Quotes 
by Felix Papanikolas

1. Shaquille O’Neal- "Me shooting 40% at the foul line is just God’s way to say nobody’s perfect."

2. Kurt Vonnegut- “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”

3. Jerry Seinfeld- “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” 

4. Fran Lebowitz- “In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

5. Dorothy Parker- "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to". 

6. Jerry Seinfeld- “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” 

7. Conan O’ Brien- “If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”

8. Brooke Shields- "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

9. Mariah Carey- "I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows."

10. Robert Downey Jr.- "I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, ´Why stop at one?´ I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platoon of monkeys. So that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around."