Teacher Gossip 2nd Edition

1. How long would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Who would be your companions? Where would you go?

Ms. Eilbert: I would barricade myself in the Greater Room with Ms. Blanca and anyone else from New School that wants to join, and just wait the zombies out. Ms. Blanca has all the food AND you just know zombies wouldn’t even dare mess with her territory.

Ms. Turturro: I would survive until the end! My companions would be my husband, my best friend, my best friend's partner, and our cats. We would be unstoppable (mostly due to the cats)

Ms. Flores: My cats and I would be the first to die, and I'm okay with that

Ms. Jackson:  I think I could survive for a while!! Especially if I had my sister with me - she's a surgeon so could manage all of our medical needs.  I'm pretty good at archery and feel like I could tap into some Katniss Everdeen vibes to hunt!  I would try to get out to a rural, mountain area with a water source -- river/lake/etc.  Lots of coverage, plenty of food sources (plants, animals, berries), and away from the main population! 

Ms. Sara: I run slowly since I have surgical steel and screws in my ankle, so I think I would go down pretty quickly. Plus, I think my brain is pretty tasty. I'm a gonner quickly for sure.  I would try to hide in South San Francisco on a business campus where I used to work. I would definitely try to bring my grown children and my two doggies.

Ms. Jasmine: I could survive for 3 years in Tulum, Mexico, with my husband, 3 sons, and a Zombie whom I was able to turn on my side and tell what to do. He would become our protector and guide us through the apocalypse. 

2. If you could bring back any fashion trend, what would it be?

Ms. Eilbert:  Butterfly clips! They brought me so much joy when I was in middle school. So whimsical.

Ms. Turturro: 👏Bring👏 back👏the👏dunce👏cap 👏

Ms. Flores: Skirts over pants like Hannah Montana used to do.

Ms. Belkora: I love the look of long ponytails and floral headbands. Bell bottom jeans and vests over wide sleeve shirts too. 

Mr. Maloney: A fashion trend I would bring back is bell bottoms jeans — because, why not!

Ms. Sara: I love neon pink. So 80's neon should come back for sure.

Ms. Jasmine: 1950's Doris Day, Dorothy Dandridge style-elegant and retro

3. What is your most used emoji?

Ms. Eilbert: These days, probably 🫠 or 🙃

Ms. Turturro:  💀😭

Ms. Flores: 👹 I use it for any and every inconvenience

Ms. Belkora: ❤️

Mr. Maloney:  My most used emoji is probably… 🤔

Ms. Jackson: 🫠🫠🫠

Ms. Sara: 😎

Ms. Jasmine: 👍or 😁

4. What is one of your hidden talents?

Ms. Eilbert: I can raise either eyebrow one at a time.

Ms. Turturro: If I told you, it wouldn't be hidden anymore... 🤨

Ms. Flores:  I can make ANYTHING by hand if I put my mind to it.

Ms. Belkora: Catching pennies off my elbow.

Ms. Jackson: I can lick my elbow -- try it!

Ms. Sara: I love to dance - Merengue, Cumbia, Samba.

Ms. Jasmine: I love puppets and Jim Henson. My dream in another life is to work for Sesame Street and be a puppeteer.

5. What's the most ridiculous excuse you've ever heard from a student?

Ms. Eilbert: “I don’t wanna.”

Ms. Flores: "It was boring, so I didn't do it." 

Mr. Maloney: Ridiculous excuse… I mean… the dog ate my homework is a classic!

Ms. Jasmine: My parents said I didn't have to do the assignment.

6. If you could safely eat any inedible object, what would it be and why?

Ms. Eilbert: The red wax they wrap Babybel cheese with. It just feels like you should be able to bite right into those!!

Ms. Turturro: A meal of Tide pods, Playdoh, and the soap from Lush.

Ms. Flores: Lava

Ms. Belkora: A rainbow, I'd like to see what it tastes like. Are the different colors different flavors? Is it warm? Cold? Misty? Dry?

Mr. Maloney: Safely eat an inedible object… I wish flowers tasted as good as they smell! 🤣

Ms. Jackson: Orbeez

Ms. Sara: I would eat roses because they look so lovely and tasty, even though they are not.

Ms. Jasmine: One of the "is it cake" TV shows, non-cakes. It would trick my mind into thinking I was still eating cake.

7. If you could be any teacher for a day who would you be and why?

Ms. Eilbert: Whoever the tallest teacher is. I’ve always wondered what it’s like up there.

Ms. Flores: Ms. Belkora - what is it like to be so calm all the time???

Ms. Belkora: Ms. Dee, I think it would be fun to be in Kinder for a day. 

Mr. Maloney: I’d love to be Ms. Emily or Mr. Ryan for a day to see what it's like to run our whole school!

Ms. Sara: I would like to teach in kindergarten to experience a lot of joy.

8. What's your favorite smell?

Ms. Eilbert: Anything my mom is baking. Or Christmas trees.

Ms. Turturro: Fresh pine trees during the holidays. 

Ms. Flores: My cats - they smell like clean laundry!!!!

Ms. Belkora: Baking bread or pretty much any baked good

Mr. Maloney: My favorite smell is crisp fall leaves with a chill in the air.

Ms. Jackson: I love the smell right after it rains! And also freshly baked cookies. 

Ms. Sara: Lemony

Ms. Jasmine: Flowers

9. If you were a food what food would you be? Why?

Ms. Eilbert: Probably roasted cauliflower. Because it seems kind of boring and blah so maybe I wouldn’t get eaten. But it’s actually very good.

Ms. Flores: Ugh idk I don’t want to be a food.

Ms. Belkora: Whipped cream. I love it, and it feels like a relaxing shape to be.

Mr. Maloney: Oh, I’d be a chocolate bar because I love chocolate!

Ms. Jackson: Maybe a gummy bear?

Ms. Sara: Strawberry ice cream because I am a treat to be with 😎

Ms. Jasmine: Ice cream-I could make some people’s stomachs sick, but for the most part, everyone loves me.

10. Have you ever met a celebrity? If so, who? When?

Ms. Eilbert: I met Brandi Chastain at soccer camp when I was 13. She was really nice! 

Ms. Turturro: Yes! I worked in the film industry, so I've met a handful. (Peep the photo below of me at an awards show; seated with Margot Robbie and Bryce Dallas Howard).

Ms. Flores: I randomly met Ariana Grande circa 2014 at the mall - epic.

Ms. Belkora: Brandon Crawford when he was a little boy, does that count? Prince Albert of Monaco if you know who that is.

Mr. Maloney: I‘ve met the Mayor of San Francisco before and after he was elected!

Ms. Jackson: I have! Steph Curry and Klay Thompson came to a fundraising event that my family hosted about 12 years ago!

Ms. Jasmine: Yes, Beyonce, Eddie Murphy, Oprah, Jennifer Hudson - I had an opportunity to go to the Oprah Winfrey show and see the Dreamgirls Premiere.

11. If you could make a trend disappear, what would you stop?

Ms. Eilbert: Oh, I think all your teachers would say the same thing right now. “six seeeeeven.” WHAT is so funny about it???

Ms. Turturro: *Middle School voice* SIIIIIX SEEEVEEEENNNN

Mr. Maloney: 6 7…. Is it even funny anymore?? 🙃

Ms. Jackson: 6-7.  PLEASE. 

Ms. Sara: 6-7

Ms. Jasmine: Wearing your jeans low enough, it shows your underwear.

12. What’s your favorite movie/TV show?

Ms. Eilbert: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Buffy is the bomb, I named my dog after her :)

Ms. Turturro: There are too many to count! I love movies and TV, especially animation. My favorite movies include Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Howl's Moving Castle, and Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse.

Ms. Flores: Favorite show: Bob's Burgers - Favorite Movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (live action 2000 adaptation)

Ms. Belkora: My all-time favorite show is The Brady Bunch. 

Mr. Maloney:  Favorite movie is The Others — a spooky movie from 2001.

Ms. Jackson: I love the Great British Baking Show, mostly because I want to eat everything they make... and because they're just so nice to each other 🥹

Ms. Sara: Movie - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. TV show - The Great British Baking Show.

Ms. Jasmine: TV Show- Nobody Wants This, Bridgerton, The Summer I Turned Pretty, Real Housewives, and Love Island. Movies- Matilda, Wicked, When Harry Met Sally, Waiting to Exhale, Girls Trip.